Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
I'm Back, Prepare for Randomness
I'm not sure where I want to start today. I've got so many thoughts on so many varying topics in my head. Let's get some of the simpler, inconsequential thoughts out of the way first, the stuff some of us care about, but doesn't really matter in the long run.
1. Tiger wins the U.S. Open practically on one leg. There's only one word for that: PHENOMENAL. The guy is a freak of nature, a machine. There is no doubt he's the greatest athlete on the face of the planet. No one has ever dominated a sport the way he does. Enjoy it while you can. It's hard to recognize greatness when it's taking place. Society usually doesn't pick up on that sort of thing until the greatness has passed and they decide to write about it in a history book. And for all of you who says he's not an athlete, take a closer look. The guy is such an incredible physical specimen that I have no doubt in my mind he could play cornerback or free safety on Sunday afternoons in the Fall.
2. It was great to see the Celtics take the NBA title. They deserved it; it's been a long time since the days of Larry Legend. It would have been a shame to see Kevin Garnett go out without a title when he retires, ala Karl Malone and Charles Barkley.
3. I'm in love, in love with my writing. Nothing else has ever made me feel so free, so alive, so conscious and aware of the world around me. Nothing. Once one starts writing, one sees things through a completely different set of lenses. I can't fully explain it, I'd simply recommend that each of you pick up a pen and put a few thoughts down on paper, even if it's only a simple journal. It is not as easy as you may think if you've never never written. Writing itself, is easy. Writing well, on the other hand, is difficult. It requires you to come face-to-face with your deepest feelings, and that can be uncomfortable sometimes. Living in a fantasy world and not being willing to come to terms with who you are at your very core is easy. Step out of the comfort zone, I beg of you. You'll be surprised with the results, I promise.
4. The past three and a half weeks have been amazing. Let me break some news to you guys that only a few people know. I've been unemployed since June 1st. And you know what? It's been enlightening. When I walked out of that office that afternoon I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders. In the time since I've been relaxing, writing some of the best material I've ever written, and spent a lot of time at bars and coffee shops conversing with some really interesting people. Now here's the kicker, my parents have NO IDEA I'm not working at the old job right now. So Aunt Jane, you can't say a word. I've got a bigger job in the works right now that should come through early next week if all goes as planned. I didn't want my parents to worry, that's why I didn't tell them. The people who want to hire me called me out of the blue, so that has to be a sign, right? I didn't even apply to the company. And when I went to the interview it was more a case of them asking me to come work for them than me proving myself to them. Is it my dream job? No. That would be getting published and getting a multi-book deal, traveling the country and even the world for book signings. But I think this will do, for now.
5. Speaking of the amazing people I've met these past few weeks, one especially stood out. I was sitting at a Starbucks downtown, reading, minding my own business, when a voice came from over my shoulder: "You know man, it's all fucked up." The voice was older, gruff, sinewy even, like its owner had been around, seen some hard things over the course of many decades. I calmly laid my book down, whipped around to meet the voice's owner. A downtrodden, weathered guy, probably in his mid-to-late 50's stared back at me. His face bore no expression, just a simple gaze in my direction, as if he was awaiting my response. Now, when he said this, it was loud enough to be heard by people at the other surrounding tables, but they all pretended to not hear what the man had said. Granted they were twenty-somethings hiding behind Chanel sunglasses, snobs no doubt, so this didn't surprise me. People need to recognize that we're all the same, we're all in this world together, but that's a different rant for a different time. I looked back at the man, and without hesitation, replied with "I concur." He smiled, and we spend the better part of the next hour discussing our situations, life stories, etc. He talked endlessly about a woman he'd lost thirty years prior, and how he still thought about her, missed her, longed to make things right. He said he'd take that to the grave with him. All I could think while hearing this was I hope when I'm his age I don't have this sort of regret. His pain was very real, I could see it in his eyes. I've already got pain, but his seemed deeper. I can't stand to think that might be me one day. I've got to do something about that, and soon, because if I don't, I could very end up with the pain of that sort of regret. His name was Franklin, and he was a good, honest old man who'd had some bad breaks. I doubt I'll ever see him again, and I doubt he would come across this space here, but Franklin, I just wanted to say thank you. You provided me with valuable life advice, and maybe even enough information to write another novel.
6. So now for a short rant. Dear women, why are you such cold-hearted, cutthroat bitches? If you go out with a guy for an evening and everything seems to go great, and you even kiss him, don't leave him floundering afterward. At least have the decency to return his calls, if only to say "Thanks, I had a great time, but I'm not interested." That's it, that's all I'm asking for. Don't ignore his calls and leave him wondering. it is perhaps the most immature a so-called mature woman can do. It only makes you look trite and conceited. That means you Kristin. Sincerely, Me
7. To those of you who have been very encouraging lately and wholeheartedly believe in my dream, and acknowledge my dedication to the craft of writing, thank you. You words mean more to me than you know, especially because I know they are sincere.
1. Tiger wins the U.S. Open practically on one leg. There's only one word for that: PHENOMENAL. The guy is a freak of nature, a machine. There is no doubt he's the greatest athlete on the face of the planet. No one has ever dominated a sport the way he does. Enjoy it while you can. It's hard to recognize greatness when it's taking place. Society usually doesn't pick up on that sort of thing until the greatness has passed and they decide to write about it in a history book. And for all of you who says he's not an athlete, take a closer look. The guy is such an incredible physical specimen that I have no doubt in my mind he could play cornerback or free safety on Sunday afternoons in the Fall.
2. It was great to see the Celtics take the NBA title. They deserved it; it's been a long time since the days of Larry Legend. It would have been a shame to see Kevin Garnett go out without a title when he retires, ala Karl Malone and Charles Barkley.
3. I'm in love, in love with my writing. Nothing else has ever made me feel so free, so alive, so conscious and aware of the world around me. Nothing. Once one starts writing, one sees things through a completely different set of lenses. I can't fully explain it, I'd simply recommend that each of you pick up a pen and put a few thoughts down on paper, even if it's only a simple journal. It is not as easy as you may think if you've never never written. Writing itself, is easy. Writing well, on the other hand, is difficult. It requires you to come face-to-face with your deepest feelings, and that can be uncomfortable sometimes. Living in a fantasy world and not being willing to come to terms with who you are at your very core is easy. Step out of the comfort zone, I beg of you. You'll be surprised with the results, I promise.
4. The past three and a half weeks have been amazing. Let me break some news to you guys that only a few people know. I've been unemployed since June 1st. And you know what? It's been enlightening. When I walked out of that office that afternoon I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders. In the time since I've been relaxing, writing some of the best material I've ever written, and spent a lot of time at bars and coffee shops conversing with some really interesting people. Now here's the kicker, my parents have NO IDEA I'm not working at the old job right now. So Aunt Jane, you can't say a word. I've got a bigger job in the works right now that should come through early next week if all goes as planned. I didn't want my parents to worry, that's why I didn't tell them. The people who want to hire me called me out of the blue, so that has to be a sign, right? I didn't even apply to the company. And when I went to the interview it was more a case of them asking me to come work for them than me proving myself to them. Is it my dream job? No. That would be getting published and getting a multi-book deal, traveling the country and even the world for book signings. But I think this will do, for now.
5. Speaking of the amazing people I've met these past few weeks, one especially stood out. I was sitting at a Starbucks downtown, reading, minding my own business, when a voice came from over my shoulder: "You know man, it's all fucked up." The voice was older, gruff, sinewy even, like its owner had been around, seen some hard things over the course of many decades. I calmly laid my book down, whipped around to meet the voice's owner. A downtrodden, weathered guy, probably in his mid-to-late 50's stared back at me. His face bore no expression, just a simple gaze in my direction, as if he was awaiting my response. Now, when he said this, it was loud enough to be heard by people at the other surrounding tables, but they all pretended to not hear what the man had said. Granted they were twenty-somethings hiding behind Chanel sunglasses, snobs no doubt, so this didn't surprise me. People need to recognize that we're all the same, we're all in this world together, but that's a different rant for a different time. I looked back at the man, and without hesitation, replied with "I concur." He smiled, and we spend the better part of the next hour discussing our situations, life stories, etc. He talked endlessly about a woman he'd lost thirty years prior, and how he still thought about her, missed her, longed to make things right. He said he'd take that to the grave with him. All I could think while hearing this was I hope when I'm his age I don't have this sort of regret. His pain was very real, I could see it in his eyes. I've already got pain, but his seemed deeper. I can't stand to think that might be me one day. I've got to do something about that, and soon, because if I don't, I could very end up with the pain of that sort of regret. His name was Franklin, and he was a good, honest old man who'd had some bad breaks. I doubt I'll ever see him again, and I doubt he would come across this space here, but Franklin, I just wanted to say thank you. You provided me with valuable life advice, and maybe even enough information to write another novel.
6. So now for a short rant. Dear women, why are you such cold-hearted, cutthroat bitches? If you go out with a guy for an evening and everything seems to go great, and you even kiss him, don't leave him floundering afterward. At least have the decency to return his calls, if only to say "Thanks, I had a great time, but I'm not interested." That's it, that's all I'm asking for. Don't ignore his calls and leave him wondering. it is perhaps the most immature a so-called mature woman can do. It only makes you look trite and conceited. That means you Kristin. Sincerely, Me
7. To those of you who have been very encouraging lately and wholeheartedly believe in my dream, and acknowledge my dedication to the craft of writing, thank you. You words mean more to me than you know, especially because I know they are sincere.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
The Truth!
"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs and maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance; of how much you really want to do it, and you'll do it. Despite rejection and the worst odds, and it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that, you'll be alone with the gods and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is." -Charles Bukowski
I'm not sure a better piece of advice has ever been given. I'll let you contemplate this for a few days before I right about it. Read it at least twice. It's that good.
I'm not sure a better piece of advice has ever been given. I'll let you contemplate this for a few days before I right about it. Read it at least twice. It's that good.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
Sex and the Shitty
By now I'm sure you've all heard that the HBO series Sex and the City was made into a full-length feature film and released last weekend. It's no secret who the targeted demographic is for this film: women between the ages of say, 18-35. Sure there are probably a few older women that will go see it as well, but we'll consider them outliers for the purposes of this discussion.
I never saw the show when it was on television, and you'll catch me on stage for drag night at Legends before you find me in the theatre suffering through two plus hours of pure torture. And if you're a male, and you voluntarily see the film, don't mention it to me because I will track you down and give you a good swift punch in the kidney, followed by an even firmer kick to the testicles; just a warning. The only exception to this is guys who go to appease their girlfriends and wives. However, I will have to at the very least see a picture of your girlfriend to give you a free pass. If she is anything less than a solid nine, your kick to the groin is still promised.
Now, let me address why this show is the biggest piece of fantasy propaganda for a young woman that has ever existed. IT"S ONE BIG PSYCHOLOGICAL CLIT RUB, at least for the older female fans. In the words of Rick James, it gives broads "delusions of grandeur." Here's the fantasy: it supports the idea that women will remain sexually attractive to ALPHA MALES well into their forties. Sorry, but it's just not happening. Sure, there are decently attractive women that age that can pull a BETA MALE. But alpha? Please. What are you chicks smoking? At that age, there is no "Mr. Big" in your future, especially when you look like a damned horse (See about picture). I mean come on! When there's a website dedicated to you looking like a horse (www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikehorse.com) you have no business being on any show that has the word sex in the title, much less be on the show and pull an alpha male. Reality has possibly never been more misconstrued.
One of a woman's biggest fears is aging into sexual invisibility. All SATC does is assuage that fear. It's nothing more than one big "Hey, you've still got it!" affirmation. In real life, "Mr. Big" walks right past any woman that looks like Mr. Ed and starts chatting up the twenty-five year old bartender with the short skirt and breasts on display. I'm not saying it's right, I'm only trying to ground you in reality.
The Belmont Stakes is Saturday. I'll take Big Brown to complete the Triple Crown. Anyone got the odds on Sarah Jessica Parker?
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