As I lied in bed last night, the day's events and various highlights played out in my head in slow motion, as is the norm for me. It's become so much a part of my daily routine that I hardly ever have to think about doing it because it just happens. Lately I've also begun to pose questions to myself about what I'm doing in my day-to-day life: various actions I've taken, were they right or wrong, am I as tuned in to the needs of friends and family as I need to be, etc. Often, I ask myself these questions as a means to not only reflect, but to identify ways I can improve when the sun peaks through the blinds the next morning.
I mention this portion of my daily routine not because I aim to persuade any of you to begin adopting this practice, but because I want to share with you a question I posed to myself last night in the hopes of getting some feedback from some of you. First, a little background information is necessary.
I've been dating this amazing young lady for the past couple of weeks. Last night was our fourth "date". I prepared what I suppose could be considered a thoroughly intricate meal to the majority of you, and even the food snobs among you similar to myself. We enjoyed the meal, a bottle of wine and finished it off with lemon raspberry cheesecake and an episode of House. However, the details of the night are irrelevant. All you need really need is that bit of background information. Let me get to the matter at hand.
Last night, as I lied staring at the ceiling, the most significant question I posed to myself was "Why am I sharing my deepest thoughts and feelings so willingly to you, my readers in this little corner of the virtual world?" And not only that, but also "Is it a good idea?" I asked myself these questions because I have begun to wonder what topics should I refrain from posting here. I've begun to wonder if I share with you my truest thoughts and feelings concerning my various experiences - especially my pursuit of the elusive thing known as love - will I in fact be doing myself a disservice?
You see, last night by my estimation was a very good night, and I can only hope that the one whose company I enjoyed feels the same way. But do I really need to be sharing that here? Could it perhaps be doing me more harm than good? That, dear readers, is my current struggle.
Those of you who know me, and I mean truly know me, know that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm just beginning to wonder whether or not it's a good idea for me to wear it on my blog as well.