Thursday, January 24, 2008

Mid-week Musings - A Day Late

So here I am boys and girls. I had genuinely intended to give you blog junkies your literary "crack" yesterday - metaphorically speaking, of course - to get you through the rest of the work week. Blame it on my baby, A.K.A. my novel that continues to blossom; well, that and a few other things I've chosen to devote my attention to lately. What can I say, Carolina girls are the best. And I don't mean that as a blanket statement to refer to all North Carolina girls. No, I am referring specifically to UNC Chapel Hill girls. While I am tired from a lack of sleep over the past couple of weeks, I'm certainly not complaining.

Without further delay, I give you "Mid-Week Musings for the Masses":

1) The Tar Heels lost their first game this past weekend and yes, I was upset. Yet this disappointment lasted but for a few hours. I've learned to take things into perspective, to look at the big picture. The bottom line is, it's just a regular season loss. All goals for the season still remain in tact: win the conference, with the conference tournament, and win the national championship. One loss just takes some of the pressure off.

2) Amy Winehouse got sent off to rehab after a video was leaked showing her hosting a party at her house last Friday night at which she could be seen taking hits from a crack pipe, snorting cocaine and crushed exstacy tablets, as well as boasting about taking a large dose of valium moments earlier. The woman is a musical genius if I do say so myself. It's just a shame that's what it takes for her to produce good music. You know the VH1's of the world are foaming at the mouth with thoughts of putting her on their next reality show. Let me be the first to say I'd watch.

3) My roommate came home from work last night claiming he might get fired from his job at a prominent, well-known jewelry store. Apparently he overrode some sort of computer control system and compromised the integrity of every computer the company owns. I must say I was extremely proud of him while listening to hear him tell this story, although I always envisioned some sort of smash and grab job. That would be a lot more exciting and might warrant a spot on the evening news.

4) I came home from work Tuesday night and our culdesac was blocked by the patrol cars of two of Raleigh's finest. Looks like the neighborhood dopers might finally get evicted soon. I must admit I'm a little disappointed. I'm afraid I might experience some level of seperation anxiety when I can no longer park next to their ghetto fabulous cars. I'm not sure which has more glitter on their body- their 1950-something Cadillac or the chicks on The Hills.

5) So the Super Bowl is fast approaching. For some reason I don't really care all that much, although I will be pulling for the Giants, along with the other 99.9% of the country. Speaking of the Super Bowl, does it strike anyone else as odd that whoever wins is deemed "World Champions". Since when does beating out 29 other teams based in AMERICAN cities make you World Champions? If you ask me, I think it's just the NFL puffing up their chests. News flash: No one outside of the lower 48 cares who wins. In fact much of the world probably doesn't even know the game is being played, and you have the nerve to call yourself World Champions. That's laughable.

6) Those of you who really know me, know that I love snow above all things. It looked like we might finally received a measurable snow for the winter last weekend, but the results were far less than expected. I'm with Al Gore on this one. I blame global warming. Keep in mind that when Al speaks of global warming it's code for "all the Republicans and their SUVs".

7) With the market approaching a recession and putting the fear of God into investors, the Federal Reserve Board has acted drastically to slash the Fed Funds borrowing rate in a desperate effort to stimulate growth. All this price slashing has me picturing Ben Bernanke as the yellow smiley face in the Wal-Mart commercials. He's just rolling back prices.

8) Memo to John Edwards: Give it up dude. You won't even be able to carry your home state when the North Carolina primary is held. Apparently you took Jimmy V's "Don't give up. Don't ever give up." speech entirely too seriously. For you it should be interpreted as "Don't give up. Don't ever give up. That is unless you have a more lucrative option to fall back on, such as more ambulance chasing." And no, your wife having cancer isn't going to buy you any sympathy votes.

9) The recent murder spree in Durham has drawn some national attention. It's funny how this sort of thing goes on week in and week out in "Compton East", mostly resulting in young black men killing other young black men, and no one really seems to care. But as soon as one of them intrudes upon rich, yuppie, white person land (A.K.A. Duke University) and kills someone it's all over the news. I'm surprised Barbara Walters, Mike Wallace and Bill O'Reilly haven't shown up yet. When I saw the news I couldn't help but think to myself "Man, if you're going to do it, at least make it count. Take out Coach K."

10)Kudos to my man Tiger Woods. I'm sure you all have heard plenty by now about Golf Channel analyst Kelly Tilghman's on-air comments about Tiger and the 2008 PGA Tour season on which she speculated that the only way anyone will beat Tiger this year is if they "lynch him in a back alley." Obviously it was a poor choice of words, even though it was clearly a joke. Tiger could have gotten riled up over the comment, could have gotten Reverends Jackson and Sharpton involved, and could have basically put the Golf Channel out of business if he wanted too - he's that powerful. But what did he do? Nothing. He talked to her and worked it out. She meant it as a joke, and something tells me Tiger took it as a joke. I like the guy even more now. Who knew you couldn't say lynch on tv? Who knew it was a racially derogatory word, related to a single race? I sure didn't. I would think it would be possible to lynch a white person, an Asian person, a Mexican person, etc. just as easily as it would be to lynch a black golfer. It just seems logical to me. Oh well.
Until next time...

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